When I'm Gone
by o.wolfgirl.o
Summary: a HarryxGinny song shot. Set before Harry leaves to hunt Horcruxes. lyrics by Three Doors Down.


The characters belong to JKRowling.  
The song lyrics belong to Three Doors Down.  
If you read, please let me know what you think.  
This was written before DH came out, but it doesn't really affect it.  
peace&love, Kas

xxxxx

**When I'm Gone**

He had been the Chosen One from birth. It was a fate he could never escape and the life he had lived had brought him to the point of no longer wishing he could. Now, every beat of his heart, every fiber of his being was set on destroying the one who had taken everything from him. _He_ had taken his parents. _He_ had taken his godfather. _He_ had taken his teacher, his mentor. And now _he_ had taken Ginny.

_There's another world inside of me  
That you may never see  
There's secrets in this life  
That I can't hide  
Somewhere in this darkness  
There's a light that I can't find  
Maybe it's too far away...  
Or maybe I'm just blind...  
Or maybe I'm just blind..._

_He_ had destroyed his life. _He_ had taken everything away from him, and in doing so had plunged him into complete darkness. He was lost in the black abyss that was his mind and no one could reach him. He was consumed by the thoughts of the man, no the thing, that had killed his parents. He was drowned by the memories of the people he loved. The people that were now gone forever. He was encompassed by the knowledge that he was all that was left. Just a sixteen year old boy and he was all there was to stand against the darkest wizard of all time. And she, the only one whose touch brought him back, even if just for a moment, was being taken away from him now, too. She didn't know it yet, and he didn't know when or how… but soon… he would know… she would know… he was going and not coming back.

_So hold me when I'm here  
Right me when I'm wrong  
Hold me when I'm scared  
And love me when I'm gone  
_

She. She, who was the singular light amongst the shadows of his mind. She, who lit the fire in his heart that provided his only source of warmth when all there was, was the cold pure hatred and the iron strong thirst for revenge. In his darkest moments, she was there, bringing him back, and he would do anything… anything for her. Even if it meant shattering his and _her_ heart into a thousand tiny glittering pieces.

_Everything I am  
And everything in me  
Wants to be the one  
You wanted me to be  
I'll never let you down  
Even if I could  
I'd give up everything  
If only for your good  
_

Everything he had left. Everything she gave him. It was all nothing if Voldemort triumphed. The Wizarding World thirsted for a fight. It needed to fight. It needed the cleansing that a battle would bring. And none could bring that battle but he. None could triumph over Voldemort but he. The Wizarding World needed him. But what of his needs… of her… she was his need. But he gave her up; he gave himself up for the Wizarding World, for his world.

_So hold me when I'm here  
Right me when I'm wrong  
You can hold me when I'm scared  
You won't always be there  
So love me when I'm gone  
Love me when I'm gone...  
_  
And somehow, through it all she was there. She was there when he needed her most, and she was there when he pushed her away. How, after all she had done for him, been for him, could he turn her away? How could he be the reason her world came crashing down? How could he bring the feeble remnants of his own world crashing down alongside hers? She was his last link to sanity. She was his love and his hope and his emotion. She was all he had left that kept him from immersing himself completely in the madness that consumed his world.

_When your education x-ray  
Can not see under my skin  
I won't tell you a damn thing  
That I could not tell my friends  
Now roaming through this darkness  
I'm alive but I'm alone  
Part of me is fighting this  
But part of me is gone_

She had come to him so many times begging to know what was wrong, what was going on under the dark mask he kept. Her arms had been there when he needed to be held and her lips had been there when he needed to forget, to escape the world he had been plunged into on the night of Dumbledore's death. And now, now he was going to tell her it was all for nothing. They were nothing. They could only be nothing. And it would tear him apart. Rip him to shreds. Destroy what was left of his mangled heart.

And there she was. Standing before him. Questioning the forlorn glint in his eyes. He needed to tell her. He needed to let go of… of her? The queen of his heart? The fire of his soul? At the time when he needed her most?

_So hold me when I'm here  
Right me when I'm wrong  
Hold me when I'm scared  
And love me when I'm gone_

And then his arms went around her. Drew her in and held her there. The warmth of her body bled into his, thawing slightly his frozen heart. He needed her more than anything in the world. He needed everything she was to him and everything she gave him. He needed her love. He needed love. The tear that carved a path all its own down his cheek slipped unnoticed into her soft hair. Oh, what he would give to stay in that moment forever. To never leave her tender embrace, to never again know the cold cruel realities of the world. Of Voldemort's world.

_  
Everything I am  
And everything in me  
wants to be the one  
You wanted me to be  
I'll never let you down  
Even if I could  
I'd give up everything  
If only for your good  
So hold me when I'm here  
Right me when I'm wrong  
You can hold me when I'm scared  
You won't always be there  
So love me when I'm gone_

And so he savored that last moment with her arms around him and his around her. He savored the last time his lips met the top of her head, the last time he could get lost in her scent. He savored the look of the half-smile she offered him when she finally pulled away and he savored the last moments he had to be happy before complete darkness set in around him. Before Voldemort's world became his own. Before he plunged into the fight of his life. The fight that could quite possibly determine that to be the last time he would ever put his arms around the girl of his dreams._  
_  
_Maybe I'm just blind..._

_So hold me when I'm here  
Right me when I'm wrong  
Hold me when I'm scared  
And love me when I'm gone  
Everything I am  
And everything in me  
Wants to be the one  
You wanted me to be  
I'll never let you down  
Even if I could  
I'd give up everything  
If only for your good_

How do you just break someone's heart? How do you tell the one person who means everything to you that they can no longer be a part of your life? But he had decided and there was no going back now.

_  
So hold me when I'm here  
Right me when I'm wrong  
You can hold me when I'm scared  
You won't always be there  
So love me when I'm gone  
Love me when I'm gone...  
Whoa, whoa..  
_

And knowing it would break her heart… knowing he would destroy his… knowing he was about to demolish the only love he had left in this world… he took a last, long, deep breath.

_Love me when I'm gone  
When I'm Gone  
When I'm Gone  
When I'm Gone..._


End file.
